We hope you have enjoyed our series on “Realistic Expectations” and wanted to end today by discussing the realities of post-adoption emotions. If you have found yourself standing in China becoming a parent, chances are it has been the culmination of a many year process of deciding that adoption is right for your family, paperchasing, and then waiting endlessly for the moment you meet your child. And then everyone is supposed to go off into the sunshine to live happily ever after, right? With so many adoption blogs talking about love at first sight and how wonderful those first few months together are, new parents can feel blindsided when they find themselves with an angry child who seems to hate them, or when they return home and have very intense feelings of “what have we done?” Read more.
Tag Archives: adoption
The Joint Council on International Children’s Services and Adoption Learning Partners invite you to join them for a lunch-and-learn discussion called “Brothers and Sisters in Adoption.” This webinar will discuss ways to help children navigate relationships when new kids join the family. Experts will share transition tips and strategies for welcoming a toddler or school-aged child home, focusing on preparing brothers and sisters prior to adoption and the first year after adoption. Read more.
When I was waiting to adopt my first child from China in 1999, I read story after story in online forums about the infamous “clothing police” I was sure to encounter on my adoption trip. I was warned about grannies who would come up and yell at me or wag their fingers if my child-to-be wasn’t covered from head to toe even if I thought the outside air temperature seemed fine.
Well, now I can say that many of the clothing police are women I greatly admire. They are devoted foster moms and grandmas and orphanage nannies who have watched far too many children over the years struggle with issues like pneumonia and fevers when they fall sick. As I’ve already covered in my last two posts, many orphanages and foster homes don’t have central heating, and even in the southern provinces of China, the orphanages are quite cold at times. To protect children from the cold and becoming more vulnerable to infection, they are bundled, almost from the very moment that they come into the world. Read more.
Earlier this month, a very special little girl was adopted who had been helped by LWB. Many of you had prayed for Miao’s health over the years, and so we wanted to share her initial story with you – which now has the happy ending (new beginning) of adoption! ****
I first met Miao in April, 2006 when my Dad and I were given permission to visit my daughter’s orphanage in China. The orphanage had been closed to any Westerners visiting and past offers of assistance had been politely refused. When we visited, we were in the baby room holding and playing with babies in cribs when our guide was pulled over to look at this little toddler. Her color was very blue, and she was quiet, very quiet. Read more.
A chance meeting with Cloud by Paula and her Hunan-born daughter during a return visit to her orphanage last year made a permanent dent in their hearts and cemented their determination to help advocate for this sweet girl. Cloud will celebrate her 12th birthday next week. In her short life, she has grown in inner strength despite her tough start. She entered orphanage care just two years ago and in that time has shown that she is a caring and loving girl.
Today we got the news that no one ever wants to hear. At 4:35 in the afternoon in China today, sweet baby Evan had a sudden heart attack and passed away. He had been happy and alert all afternoon, and so no one expected this to happen. I once again was reminded of the fragility of life, and how none of us can ever know how many days we have left on this earth.
Evan when he first came into LWB hands
Evan was from southern China, from an orphanage who was new to international adoption and who was a bit nervous about handing over one of their babies to us for care, even though they knew he had a very severe heart defect. The director of the orphanage called our staff many times, making sure our healing home would be a nice place for Evan to live, and wanting reassurance that we would care for him gently.
Our new video encouraging the adoption of boys is now online and also available to view below. Many people don’t realize how many boys are waiting for homes in orphanages around the world. We encourage you to help spread the news that so many great kids would love to be known as someone’s treasured SON.
We took a three hour train from Guiyang, through the rural countryside of Guizhou to get to our next destination of Liupanshui. The passing scenery was beautiful, with crop terraces all up the mountains. Whereas the eastern side of Guizhou has many homes made of wood, the western side has white stone and concrete houses, but still with the traditional Chinese style curved tile roofs.
The Qiandongnan Miao and Dong Autonomous Prefecture is located in the southeast corner of Guizhou. 80% of the people in this region are ethnic minority, with the largest group being the Miao. The capitol city is Kaili, and that is where we began our day.
Eleven years ago today I stepped off a train into mainland China for the first time. I look back on that moment now and smile as I remember thinking it might be the only time I would ever be there. It was my first adoption trip, and I had a thousand thoughts running through my mind, from excitement to fear to exhaustion to anticipation.