LWB Community


Birthparent Search

Birthparents. Based on our great response to last week’s question, “Did My Birthparents Love Me?”, the topic of your children’s birthparents is obviously one to which many of you have given a lot of thought. Over half of our respondents (51%) said that they tell their child that someone loved them enough to make sure they were found and taken to the orphanage.  18% said that they tell their children, “most definitely your birthparents loved you”; 18% responded that they say “I don’t know”, and 13% responded they haven’t had to discuss it yet.   Our respondents also shared some great comments on Poll Daddy that you can read here.

This week, we want to know your thoughts on a follow-up question. Have you ever seriously considered searching for your child’s birthparents?

We loved hearing from you last week and look forward to you joining the conversation again this week!

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  • gnelson1952 says:

    For years our oldest now 14 asked about her birth mother, I took her with me for the adoption of our 3rd child so she could experience China. She then decided on her own that she really does not care who her birth parents are and that China was nice to visit but she said she would not want to live there. Now one of our 6 year olds has started asking questions too. Maybe someday we will be able to give her an answer.

  • China mom says:

    We found the person who found our daughter before our daughter was old enough to form an opinion. She’s still young, but expresses a strong interest in finding her birth mother, so we will probably push this further.

  • stlnancio says:

    I would love to find the birth parents of my two daughters from China, but at this point in time don’t see how to even start a search. I would also worry about the Chinese government’s reaction to the birth families and the whole search process.

  • It would bring us great joy if we could find our children’s birthparents!! We have very open relationships with 3 of our kids birthfamilies (adopted domestically). Our daughter born in China has so many questions and can’t understand why we don’t know who her birthfamily is. It makes us so sad that we can’t give that to her. It would be a tremendous blessing if we could find her bfamily!

    It is extremely healing for these peanuts to know who their birthfamily is and why they weren’t able to parent them and so many other questions they have.

  • revallybar says:

    The short answer is, we did “search” for birthparents. We have good friends in China with contacts who were able to make initial inquiries and follow up. But the end of the trail was the orphanage where the next step would have been to question each orphanage employee seperately.

    At that point we said “uncle.” The last thing we wanted to do was to have the Security Bureau “reward” the loving caregivers of our daughter by frightening or intimidating them!

    We wanted to be able to tell our daughter we tried everything we could to find out about her story. I feel that I can say that. But for me it stops short of getting anyone else in trouble (inadvertantly or not).

    The question for me to be clear on is – who are we doing this for and what will we do with the knowledge if we do find out?

    Those are complicated questions with even more complicated answers.

    I am interested if there is anyone who HAS had a successful birth family search, with positive ramifications for all.

    Allison

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