LWB Community Blog

Honoring Birthfathers

Earlier this week, the Joint Council on International Children’s Services (JCICS) posted a question on their Facebook page that got us thinking, and we thought we would pose it to our readers. On Mother’s Day, many adoptive families honor their child’s birthmother. Does your family do something similar for birthfathers on Father’s Day? If not, why not? Is it too difficult to explain the concept of a birthfather to younger children? How do you get your children thinking about their birthfathers?

Many of us have struggled with this issue, and we look forward to hearing how you handle it.  Please join the conversation and let us know!

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  • Adam E says:

    Thanks for bringing this up. I hadn’t ever given much thought to the subject outside of talking about birth parents. When I read the title in my Reader, for a couple seconds I felt guilty – because I knew that I had failed to bring it up? Maybe because I felt like I was cheating my daughter out of another birth family discussion? I’m not sure.
    Thanks for the topic and thank you Nancy for some great ideas.

  • Nancy says:

    We’ve just had our first major birth mother discussion with our second daughter (who was delighted to find out that her sister has a birth mother too!) While birth fathers have a less physical “birth” connection, I try to bring up both birth parents when I discuss character traits with my kids.

    “I wonder if your birth mother or birth father was a good artist (writer, athlete, etc)?” is a question I raise when commenting on my daughters’ good qualities that are inherited. I try to present their birth parents as humans with good qualities since the circumstance of adoption tends to assume unfavorable qualities. I have to believe that the good sense of humor my oldest came to us with is from her birth parents.